Hiatus

It's been a while, but I'm back.

Me complaining about my dad in my last post was me blowing it out of proportion. He ended up actually having to be admitted to the hospital, and he had some form of pneumonia that was really severe. He got out okay though, and he's doing just fine now. I'm thankful for that.

I guess I just want to talk about college for a bit. There's so much that can influence you - alcohol, sex, drugs, and other things...I can't say I've partaken in all of those things, but I've drank before, smoked weed before, and smoke hookah more than occasionally.

I haven't had sex though. Honestly, I wish I could soon. I ended up realizing before the new year approached that I hadn't kissed a single girl in 2013. As a matter of fact, the closest I got to a girl was me fondling her boobs when she told me that wearing two bras made a difference. It's funny, because, well, had I played the right cards, maybe I'd have had a shot with her - but now she's dating my roommate. It's fine, because she's crazy though. Anyway, I hadn't kissed anyone in 2013. My first kiss was when I was 15, with my first girlfriend, and that was in 2009. 2010 came around and we were still together, so there was that. In 2011, I had a thing with a girl who I believed was the most attractive in my entire high school, but she was almost a year older than me and had a boyfriend who was a few years older. We kind of had a thing while they were still dating, but nothing more. Looking back on that, I've realized that once again, had I played my cards right, I could have done something with her, too. In 2013, I hooked up with the girl I asked to a dance way back in freshman year of high school, but I only got to second base. Some people say she's kind of a prude, but she's also a great girl. Regardless, we were in my roommate's bed (the one I mentioned earlier, I know, I'm a scumbag), and two other people were in the room. Last year though - no one.

I've gained weight, acquired some blemishes on my nose, I don't have great hair (both on my head and facial hair), and overall I don't feel like I'm an attractive person. In fact, I'm most definitely the ugliest of my roommates, I've consistently been compared to other ugly guys, when people say I look like them. It hurts my feelings, because they all are basically saying that I'm ugly. I don't really take it to heart, when maybe, I should. I can't develop the motivation to go and get into shape. I would love to work out, get some acne remover, and get a girlfriend, but I'm too lazy. Today, one of my friends told me that I needed a girl. My three roommates all have either girlfriends or girls they're in some sort of relationship with, but not me. I haven't had a girlfriend in college, and I'm so jealous. I'm jealous of the fact that they get to wake up in the morning with a person that they love in their arms. I'm jealous that there's no one who I consider decently attractive that feels the same way about me as other people's girlfriends think about them. I'd love to go and work out, but I'm lazy. It's far, too. I bought a Fitbit Force, but I don't think it's helping me.

When I was younger, me and all my friends thought college was gonna be us playing video games all day and all night. For me, it's like that. When I get time, I love playing video games. I play all the time. I met a friend who I've recently become close with, and together we play video games. Other people like to go out, drink, get wasted, and possibly find someone to go home with at the end of the night. I can't do that though. I don't have the same looks or charm that other people have. I used to be a sweet-talker, but now? None of that. I changed a lot when I had my first girlfriend, people told me that. I can't believe that I did, because I didn't feel like that happened. I've learned from the mistakes I've made and I'm ready to be dating someone. The last time I dated a girl, my grades improved dramatically, and I was always happy (except when I wanted attention...I know, I'm an attention whore). I could have had sex with her, but she didn't seem to be ready. She's crazy now too. Oh well.

I just left a party because I couldn't handle being in a room where all I did was talk to the people I always talk to and drink stupid alcohol and do absolutely nothing productive with my life. No girl who ends up going there wants to talk to me. They don't want anything to do with me. I'm not the kind of guy that girls see and realize that they want to dance with me. I'm the kind of guy who sits by himself at the drinks area or with friends and doesn't even drink.

Across the hall, my friend and his girl who told me that I need a girl, were having "date night". I'd love to take a girl out on a date. I'd pay for everything, I know we'd have a great time. In high school, I lived too far away from my girlfriend to ever take her out. I also didn't make any money, so I had to starve myself to save lunch money to get her something nice. She never showed any affection, and from what I see now in the dorms, on the streets, in classes, at parties...some guys just have it so lucky. Being born attractive or having someone attracted to them. I hate being the way I am. I hate the guy I've become.

People might see me all cheerful and whatnot, but in all honesty, I think I'm actually depressed. Not a single girl texts me that I'm interested in (and the ones who do text me just need something from me real quick or was someone I just happened to see while going somewhere). Man, if I could find a girl at all, let alone one that likes video games, or Dragon Ball Z, or soccer, or something...that'd be the best. I wish I could pay someone to look into my future, if stuff like that actually existed. I just want to see who I end up with. Here's the thing - the people who have girlfriends, they also seem to be more successful than I am. They look good, they do well in their classes, they have internships and jobs lined up, and then there's me - I do nothing, I have nothing, I do poorly in school (or, not as good as I want to).

Whatever. Fuck it. I'm going to play video games now.

Looks like I'm starting this today.

I've been thinking for a long time that I should start a blog. Sometimes there are things I want to say to the world, to vent, that I'm not able to simply because 140 characters isn't enough in a tweet, or I might give away too much because I wrote something that gave away who it was about all too easily. Facebook just has way too many people on it nowadays, so you can't post anything private there that others won't see. In the end, whatever I write is something I don't want to be seen by others - at least not by people who know me personally. I don't like people asking questions, because then they become judgmental, and I become self-conscious.

I wanted to put all of this stuff somewhere that I thought I would be able to access it wherever I go. I guess saving it all in multiple Word documents or in OneNote could have worked, you know, with SkyDrive and all. But there's just something about having it all on the Internet that's nice, in a sense. Maybe it's not that I want to keep everything I say to myself, but instead just have a couple people here or there comment on what I'm saying. Of course, I actually have no idea how Blogger works outside from actually writing posts, so I don't even know if that is possible.

I guess I was motivated to start this today rather than earlier or later because of a few things my dad said to me today. He's sick with a fever, and whenever something isn't going his way he automatically decides that everything and everyone around him should default to being concerned about him. Due to my nature, I simply am not the kind of person who constantly checks up on someone, or someone who likes to show concern for others. Obviously I am concerned for my dad, but it's just a fever and it's something that comes and goes. He got the fever (or started to feel he had one) on Wednesday night. I didn't even talk to him for most of Thursday, and Friday after I came back from work he decided to start bitching (not sure whether profanity will be a common theme in my posts yet, stay tuned for that) about how I didn't come and ask him how he was doing or if he needed anything. I don't get it. I understand where he's coming from, but it's just not something I've ever really done, even for family. He then complained about how my personality sucks, and then from there he has this innate ability to lead topics from one subject to something about how I'm overweight and need to exercise more often. And then more of that innate ability shows up when he changes topics from that to something about school or grades, and then he'll change topics again to how I'm always playing video games or on the computer or watching TV or on my phone or tablet but not doing whatever the fuck he wants. Well you know what? If that's not the way I am, you shouldn't try to change it. I understand I'm not fucking perfect, in fact, I'm quite far from it. That doesn't mean that the second you become sick that you have to become needy. It's happened quite a bit now, whether it's you getting sick, or wanting me to do something that you are fully capable of doing, etc. And then he calls me lazy. I understand the anger, but you should only be permitted to be angry about that, and not about completely unrelated things that are simply inconsequential.

Whatever. I think it's out of my system now. Just needed to get that out there.

I'm actually wondering what might happen when I get a couple things that I ordered online in the mail. I'm sure he knows full well that it's not a smart idea to break something that someone paid money for, but who knows. Bought some stuff that he probably hates, and I don't care.

Anyway, a little about myself. I don't want to tell you my name, you can refer to me as Aadilicious. Sorry, but that's just how it's gotta be. If I get to know some of you better than maybe that will change, but at the moment, that's how it is. I'm 19 years old. Oh, and I'm a guy by the way. I'm a student at the University of Michigan (looks like that narrowed it down, right?) and I'm actually not too sure about what I'm studying right now. Probably computer science or informatics, but that's for another post.

Go Blue! The greatest stadium in the world. 

I'm a huge soccer fan. I played for about 8 years, and improved every year, but I'll admit I didn't have as much interest playing it back then as I do now. After I started to follow soccer more closely following the 2006 World Cup, I realized that I should have followed it earlier, because now I'm always so eager to play, but I don't get the chance to very often.

One of my favorite David Villa moments - scoring the winner in the second leg at home against AC Milan in the Champions League this past year.

As cliche as it might sound, my favorite team is FC Barcelona - a Catalan team from La Liga, in Spain. They have the best player in the world in Lionel Messi, and housed my favorite player for 3 years: David Villa. Previously, my favorite team was Manchester United, and my favorite player was Rio Ferdinand, but he's now taken a back seat to some of the players I prefer now. Villa is at Atletico (can't write accents on a laptop) Madrid now, because he wants some World Cup playing time. I'll still be getting his jersey, but I just wanna find a quality one for cheap right now. I learned about him at the 2006 World Cup, but I saw him shine in 2010 - and that's when he became my favorite player. He's lost the spring in his step he had before he broke his leg, but I think it's coming back with his new team. I'd have to say my second favorite player is a tie between Andres Iniesta, Cesc Fabregas, and Gerard Pique.

One of the things I mentioned earlier about my dad getting angry about with me buying stuff online is actually an authentic Barcelona jersey for the upcoming season, with Iniesta's name on it. I paid like $55 for it, so it seems like a good deal compared to the $100+ I would pay straight to the club's store.

Another thing I'm a huge fan of is Android. The mobile OS, of course. I've always had a strong liking for it compared to iOS, just because of how open the operating system is. I'm able to make my phone actually look unique and different from others, unlike an iPhone (not jailbroken, of course) which requires you have the same standard tiled home screen.

With Android, Google has seriously been dominating lately, what with the release of 4.3 Jelly Bean, the Chromecast, the new Nexus 7, as well as phones like the Galaxy S4 from Samsung, and the One from HTC. I ordered a Chromecast from Amazon (and subsequently got three months of Netflix for free), and I'm awaiting it being shipped (hopefully tomorrow, fingers crossed!), but it's another thing I don't know how my dad will react to.

Andy on a magic carpet called Windows!

I also prefer Windows over Mac OS (I'm not a fan of Apple products, as you have probably noticed), for a lot of the same reasons, but also because Microsoft is actually taking risks and doing something with Windows while Apple is just adding mundane, old, or unnecessary features to Mac OS.

I'm a Nintendo fan - I recently purchased a Wii U and it's great! My brother also has a 3DS (did I mention I have a brother? He's 8 years old, approaching 9 in about a month from now) so I've got that ecosystem complete. The Wii U is a great console that simply lacks great titles at the moment. I'm excited for the holiday season and next year though, where games like Super Mario 3D World and Super Smash Bros. will be released.

This is from Brawl, but I can't wait for the next Super Smash Bros.

So I told you about some soccer and some technology I like. If you're reading this, and plan to keep reading in the future, you'll probably learn more about me along the way. I think I'll post some updates regarding Android and Windows, some soccer stuff, my thoughts on life (just like above), things I just need to vent about, and a lot more. By the way, I'm also basically always on Reddit, so that's how I like to waste my time. I'm on Facebook and Twitter as well, but one's gotten old and the other doesn't let me say too much (unless I use TwitLonger).

Anyway, it's gonna be fun writing this for the next however many days/weeks/months/years. I hope this blog will satisfy whoever decides to read it, but also myself. Fun might not be the only thing I get out of this. Could be closure, could be anger, whatever it might be - at least it's all helpful in some manner.

But I'm gonna take a wild guess and say it's not satisfying just yet.

EDIT: Wow, I forgot one of my most favorite things (in fact, it actually tops the list): I love Dragon Ball Z. It's my favorite manga/anime, and I've played all the video games, read all the books, watched the entire series, and I'd definitely say I'm an expert. More on this later.